I read a post from a fellow blogger recently about their addict son's life stress being preferable to drug stress. What a timely post for me!
Son2 and K came for a visit for a couple days and I had a nice talk with K (Son2's finance). Yes, they have been fighting lately... about what, I was very curious, even though it was really none of my business. Well, it's really normal relationship stuff. Of course this is maybe a little more intense given the history of drug abuse in their relationship... but really it's kind of normal stuff. I think Son2's maturity was stifled, delayed if you will during his using days... so.... he is kind of behind in that department.
I think that if they give each other some room, have a lot of patience, and remain committed, they can work through this. Good thing they have enough sense to have a long engagement.
K goes to Al Anon, has a sponsor and is working through the 12-step program. She is also the daughter of an alcoholic. Son2 goes to NA meetings, also works the 12 steps, and continues to go to "after care" group once a week. He has started seeing the drug counselor one on one once a week as well since some of this relationship stuff has come up recently. They know what to do. They are doing it. They have support. It's up to them now. A lot of it is up to Son2.
On a side note, I suspect the mohawk will be gone soon. Son2 is actively looking for a summer job, and the jobs he is looking at will require more of a "clean cut" appearance. I think the lip ring will have to come out too. He will come to this decision on his own... I will not influence. I think I will not miss the stares he gets in public. It always takes me a few seconds to realize they are not admiring his good looks, hey... that guy thinks my kid is a freak. But, on the other hand, I might actually miss it a little... it makes him special and unique and an individual, a rebel, anti establishment. ok, maybe I won't miss it.... but it will be a change though to get used to... we kinda have gotten used to him the way he is, you know?
Thanks to you all for your posts, it means a lot. And in case you're wondering if it makes a difference... it does... to me.