Lately I've been distant from blogs. Been busy, you know... and stuff...
Three years ago on Thanksgiving our nightmare began, our son told us he was a heroin addict. A lot of water under the bridge since then, now he's been clean for a couple of years, since July he's off all medication and we're all trying to get used to "New Tony".
Most everyone was home for Thanksgiving, it was great to see all the family. Tony was distant and quiet. He's been so busy, and now his relationship with K is up in the air. (He is having second thoughts about the break up.) He's been working and taking a full load of classes, and he is passing all his classes, and for the first time it looks like he will get through the semester without dropping or flunking a class. He is focused and intense, serious.
So... I don't know if this is normal. Something didn't feel right to me... but then, I don't know what right feels like anymore. I told H yesterday, I don't know if I will every get over this. I still feel like I'm on alert, like I'm afraid to relax, afraid to be happy.
We bought a condo in Florida, a vacation home. I love it there, it's peaceful, warm and sunny. A nice retreat for us to escape to. I am uncomfortable telling our friends and family about it. It makes me feel guilty. Why? We worked hard for it. But, don't feel deserving, and I certainly don't want to flaunt it.
Yeah, this journey is not over, I have a long ways to go. Blogging helps, I should have remembered that sooner. Thanks to all.