Tuesday, August 21, 2012

3 years

Son2 called me last night, just as I was falling asleep.  It surprised me a little, and annoyed me too, I was tired.  I'm not used to being in daily contact with him anymore and didn't really expect even a text, say nothing of a call.  He called to tell me he had just gotten out of a meeting.  That's nice, honey, was it good?  I got my 3 year coin.  WHAT?  wait, what?  what is today?  oh my gosh, August 20.

He was laughing, and I said I was so sorry that I forgot the date.  He said he was hurt at first, but wait, wasn't that a good thing?  We talked about it for a while, and I said I never thought I would have forgotten that date.  I was remembering those days where addiction occupied my every thought.  Daily worry, phone calls, texts, sleepless nights. All of you POA's know what I'm talking about.  Even after he was clean and sober, there was still worry, then relapse, and more worry.  I thought it would never end.

This past year, finally, I am able to think of other things:  my stupid job, vacations, my parents, other family drama, etc.  Son2 has become so independent, really created some distance, doing his own thing.  I look ahead, and actually see him finishing college, something I didn't dare think about 2 years ago.

He said to me, to both his father and I, that he couldn't have done it without us.  That touched my heart.  But really, he did it.  And he continues to do it, every single day.

I haven't been posting too often, but I do try to get out and read blogs, although not as often as I used to.  I feel the pain of those POA's that are dealing with active addiction.  I don't have any thing really deep to say, except I somehow got through it.  Everybody seems to deal with it differently, and what works for one, may not work for another.  Am I any wiser for the experience?  I don't really know, I'd like to think so.  It's changed me that's for sure.

Take care of yourself, that is one important lesson I learned.