Saturday, August 20, 2011

Milestone, and another new day

Today is the first day of the rest of Tony's life.  And it marks TWO years of sobriety.

Seems like a big milestone to me.  Two years represents a long time, struggles, hard work, ups and downs. We're proud of him.  I think if he can stay clean for two years, he can stay clean for the rest of his life.

But, I think most of us know that it isn't that easy.  He has a lot of challenges ahead, hopefully finishing college, and figuring out how to make a living, to name a couple.  All of this is hard enough for most people, but for him and all recovering addicts, life has taken a detour and is difficult to get back on, and stay on the right track.

BTW, he is celebrating this milestone by going target shooting with his new gun.  GRRRRR.

I did talk to him about the gun purchase.  I told him he would be contributing more financially than he had in the past.  I won't be protecting his Savings anymore, he will have to use it until it's gone, and work more hours if necessary.  I know this is going to be difficult with school, but I think he can do it, and I know I can't baby him.

He surprised me (again), by telling me he's been contemplating joining the military (Marines).  I think the  Marines would crush his gentle soul, and I told him that, after asking politely if I could offer my opinion. I'm not sure if he's serious, we'll see.  Again, this is way out of my comfort zone.  Of course it is NOT my life, and these are his choices... (sigh...)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Note to self: Momma knows all...

So, just cuz the kid is clean, doesn't mean he's not stupid.

Ok, that was pretty harsh, but I'm still pretty mad.  Yesterday I discovered that Son2, aka Tony, bought himself a gun, of all things. I know he's wanted one for a long time. He's known since a small child, that I detest guns, and that I would never approve.  So, on top of that, he doesn't have that kind of money.  We've been helping him with school, rent, gas, groceries, and he's been chipping in this summer since he's been working part time.  He's not making enough to buy a gun, so he took 2/3 of his savings to buy it. The Savings, that I have been protecting for him... guess that was stupid of me, should have taken it long ago in return for all the cash he stole, wasted tuition for classes he flunked, etc, etc, etc.

He must have forgotten that I still have access to his accounts online, or else he didn't care if I found out, or maybe he thought I wouldn't notice right away, and he would have a chance to tell me.  Regardless, I blasted him with texts when I was very angry, probably shouldn't have done that.  After a few minutes, I texted him that we would talk when I calmed down, I think that will be tomorrow night.

I think we will have to ask him to contribute a set amount every month financially.  I haven't discussed it all through with H, but think there must be consequences of some kind for this.  So, he will have to work, more hours if necessary. And if he can't come up with it, maybe we will have to confiscate the gun or something.  Just thoughts at this point...

And another thing, technically this is a lie... a lie of omission... after I calm down about the gun, then I will get mad about that too.

ok, I'm really mad, but .... it's kind of nice to be mad about something that has nothing to do with drugs, at least I hope it doesn't.  I mean, I'm hoping this is what it is, and doesn't have anything to do with him going off of Suboxone.  It's kind of hard to explain, but I almost think this is a new version of Tony, or is it old Tony, using Tony, or just Tony off of Suboxone?

On a lighter note, the kid can still make me chuckle.  He posted this on his FB wall after my text blast, "Note to self: Momma knows all"