The first part of this post is about Son2 (Tony) and his wean off of Suboxone. He told me this week that at last week's dr appointment, they talked about how to handle the last part of the wean. First choice is 6 more months of going down 1 mg at a time, it gets harder each month and he's gotta go through a few days of feeling sick each month, which he's already been doing. Second choice is cold turkey, which at the point the doctor says, would be comparable to dragging it out for 6 months. He said it's hard to say just how bad it would be or how long the symptoms would last. Before I could even say anything, Tony said that the second option made him very uncomfortable. No quick decision here, both options sound rough. I can't even give him any advice on this one, except that the cold turkey also scares me. Frankly, I'm scared to death of him going off at all, it feels like a safety net I'm afraid to cut away. But it's not my decision, and he sounds like he is considering carefully. It was his choice to to begin the wean in the first place, but of course I worry.
The second part of this post, is about reactions. I really didn't know what to expect for reactions to Tony going on tv and announcing he is a recovering heroin addict. Good thing I didn't have very long to worry about that. I'll start with my own reaction. I was quite disturbed about the way they opened the interview, with a shot of drug spoon, foil, syringe. I realize that was an eye catcher for their audience, but to me it just felt like a shot to the gut. Tony was amazing, serious, clear eyed. I was so proud of him. I haven't been able to watch the video again, not ready for that. Some day I will.
I had let a few people know about the interview before hand so they could watch, but most of them knew about Tony's addiction already.
When I think about all the people we know in this area, it's staggering. My husband grew up here, and has lots of friends, lots of hobbies and avenues for contacts in various ways, work, school, etc. We've lived here together for 25 years, so I have a lot of contacts through work, etc. as well. Plus, I have quite a bit of family up here, aunts and uncles, and lots and lots of cousins. So, with all of that, only a handful of people have reached out to us. Some old friends, parents of my older son's best friend as a child, wrote us a very nice note. A good friend of mine from work, a middle aged family guy with a daughter about Tony's age, came to me a couple of days ago and we had a nice talk. That was a difficult but much needed conversation, he left my cubicle with tears in his eyes. Well, that's it so far... I suspect a lot of people saw it, but maybe don't want to say anything.
I feel relieved that this has come out. And I'm not afraid to talk about it anymore. If there is one thing I learned in the past two and a half years, it's that I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.