Saturday, December 11, 2010

Son2 turns 21 today

Today is Son2's 21st birthday.  I am so very happy to see this day.  He and K came to spend a couple of days so we were able to spend some time with them.

I always feel let down when he leaves, and a little apprehensive.  I know I hover around them when they are here, I can't help it.  I try to savor every minute, and I want to make sure I'm available to talk if either one of them feels the need.  Am I ever going to back off of that, and relax when they are here?  I don't know, maybe not.

K told me he's not doing very well in one of his classes.  I'm very disappointed to hear that and a little angry.  When is he going to buck up and stop using his addiction as an excuse for slacking off?  Anyway, I was afraid I would say something I would regret and didn't want to ruin his birthday, so I decided to wait to talk to him about that.   Am I ever going to stop walking tippy toe around him, afraid to "upset" him?  I don't know about that either.

I read some advice in one of the blogs I follow, to grieve the child you used to hope for.  It's sad, and I don't know if I can give up all of that.  I'm still hoping he will finish college, get a job, get married, have kids, and be happy.  Maybe I shouldn't look that far ahead.

It's kind of a blue day...

No comments:

Post a Comment