Monday, February 7, 2011

I think we are lucky

Son2 will be clean and sober for 18 months in a few days, but who's counting.

I can't help but feel lucky, and I'm not sure I am, or that I should be.  We are lucky to have health insurance, we are fortunate to have good jobs, we are fortunate that we didn't have to pay for inpatient care (Son2's has all been outpatient).  We are lucky that the black days of heroin were only a matter of months, not years. I mean is this even normal?  It almost feels like we are in for a train wreck.  I feel uneasy, I really do.  We are all stable for now, but you know, he can't stay in college forever.

Spring is coming, so naturally we start thinking of growth, change, etc.  He mentioned he might have normal hair by the summer (right now he has a pink mohawk). We've also been talking about looking for a summer job.  He is 5 months into his Suboxone wean.  Things are changing.  I think he is growing up...

We had an interesting funny little conversation a few days ago.  He told me that his Suboxone has a side effect of insomnia, something he has been struggling with for the past 2 years.  I said I know, I read the literature.  I told him I had given him all the information 2 years ago, but I guessed he wasn't in the right frame of mind to look at it.  He nodded knowingly.

My husband and I will be leaving on our trip in a few days.  Son2 has made us promise to let him know when we get there, check in regularly, etc.  Kinda funny to have the shoe on the other foot, but it feels very good to have some one worry about us for a change.


  1. You are so right. You are lucky. If this Addiction has taught me anything it is to count my blessings. To enjoy MY life. To cherish the little moments with my son.

  2. 18 months! That's awesome! I think you were fortunate that your son only used a few months, maybe that has somehow made it easier for him to stay clean (hope so). The pink mohawk seems minor compared to heroin use, but it would be nice to see some normal hair :)

    Hope you and your husband have a wonderful trip.

  3. I actually don't know how long he used, I'm guessing his entire senior year, but our involvement, rehab, getting clean, relapse and getting clean again, was less than a year. That seems so little compared to what many other bloggers have been through. Yes, those days were dark, but I see slow but steady maturing. And, I have to admit, I will probably miss the mohawk when it's gone :)

  4. My 22 year old son Peter is a recovering heroin addict too. He has been clean 2 1/2 years, but still uses Suboxone. How has the tapering gone? My son's doctor hasn't talked about tapering yet...The medication has been so helpful, I am a little unsettled about tapering off. My son has insomnia too, but he has always had it. He takes seriquel too to help fall asleep. I hear your voice, it sounds like mine. We are grateful for where our sons are now, but are also so battle scarred...a bit shell shocked still. Blogging has helped move me forward. Thanks for your posting. Blessings.