Friday, November 15, 2013

Update on me...

I've been unemployed now for a little more than a month.  It was weird at first, then we spent 10 days in Florida which was great.  I've interviewed for one job, applied for another, and have a couple more that I am considering going after. I don't know if I'm completely ready to go back to work, but I could if I had to now.  I'm starting to feel better, I am starting to recover from the burn out.

So, this week I decided it was time to tackle Son2's room.  We've talked about it since he got married, and I got his agreement that it had to happen, couldn't avoid it forever, I mean we can't leave it shut off from the rest of the house indefinitely.  For a long time, years, Son2 didn't want me to touch it, and in fact he would still sleep there when he came home.  He and his ex (K) used to sleep in there together when they visited.  But since he has been with C, he hasn't, they haven't.  So, I figured he was ready to let go.  I haven't done very much so far, picked up obvious trash, and picked up and sorted (and washed) clothing.  That in itself, took several hours.  It's dirty, stuff written on the walls, trash, etc all over, even food and half bottles of soda.  Disgusting?  Well, yes.  For those of you with teens or 20-somethings, I'm sure some of you can relate. I found empty prescription bottles, some with names of friends, one with my name, and one for the dog.... that was sad.  I knew it would be hard, but was still taken surprise by the feelings and the memories.  That was Monday, I think, and I haven't been back to it since.  Maybe today or tomorrow.  I know there are other things in there I don't want to see... not only reminders of the drug use, but childhood stuffed animals, favorite hat, track and soccer gear, downhill ski equipment, sketch books, etc. Reminders of things he used to love, but has since moved away from.

So, why on earth aren't you making him do this himself, you ask?  Well, I could. I have tried.  For one thing, he is rarely here anymore, he has moved out and moved on.  Also, I kind of think it is therapeutic for me, a review I guess, a goodbye. Does that make sense?  I plan on boxing up all his stuff for him to go through, stashing it all in the closet for now, clean, paint, and turn it into a craft/music/guest room. I know it meant a lot to him at the time to have a place he could call his own and he didn't have to share with his brother.   H says be sure to take pics of the "before" room.

Otherwise, it's been kind of quiet around the house.  I have a few other little house-cleaning projects that I've started.  Been spending some time job hunting, walking, resting, and I have to admit to watching a lot of TV.  I do feel rested now, for the first time in a long time.

In my previous post I said I would post about H's drinking, but I'm not really ready for that yet.  I will say he is a social drinker, and he's very sociable.  When H is "emotionally challenged", he drinks more.  After his parents passed away he drank a lot for a few months.  When I said I was leaving my job, he got stressed out and was drinking a lot.  What is "a lot"?  Well, more than usual.   He seems to have calmed down in the last few weeks.  I will be posting more about this in a future post.


  1. It sounds like a tough thing to do but necessary. It was hard to go through the parent's things and sell their house. But pushing through the feelings is cathartic.

  2. Had a tough time on Sunday, spent 5 minutes cleaning Son2's room and found a plastic bag with old needles. Couldn't go back in there for the rest of the day.

    Then Monday, I spent a couple of hours going through stuff in there again. I was able to get through that ok, and I felt like I made some headway. Haven't been in there again for a couple of days, but I think I will tackle it again tomorrow.